I really hate it when girls beat themselves up BECAUSE of a guy. The guy is probably worthless and undeserving anyway. Like, my girlfriend would get upset because she thinks she’s ugly blah blah blah and inside I’m screaming, “You’re beautiful, why can’t you see that?” And it’s all because of a guy. 

But then again, it’s easier said than done right? After all, I myself have put myself down because of a (worthless) guy. I’m sure every girl has done it before - pretty, ugly, fat, skinny. We sometimes doubt our worth because someone said something negative.

I’ve been there once. I’ve been so damn insecure and needy. I felt ugly, I felt fat, I felt stupid, I felt like nothing I ever do would ever be good enough. Well, I still do. But I learn to not dwell on negative thoughts and focus on the positive ones.

And I guess I have to thank k for that. He was always my saving grace. He made me want to change. And in some ways, he changed me (I haven’t decided if it’s for the worse or for the better) Every time I tried to put myself down, he told me I had no need to be insecure and it did help in some ways. What didn’t help was that he was so good looking and so many girls liked him. It should have made me feel better but it didn’t. It made me feel like he deserved so much better. 

It was one of the reasons why things between us didn’t work out. Because if you don’t love yourself, who would love you? 

“I love you. I just don’t like how I am when I’m with you” 

@6 months ago